If you’ve ever struggled with a child’s aggression or anxiety-based behaviors, you’re not alone. These behaviors can be emotionally exhausting, but there are simple, proactive tools that can help.

Start by noticing patterns. Ask yourself:

• When does this behavior happen?
• What seems to trigger it?
• What happens right after?

Understanding the context is crucial. Once you identify the behavior’s purpose, you can adjust the environment and teach new skills.

Here are a few practical strategies:

• Reinforce the positive: Catch your child doing something right and praise them for it.
• Offer choices: Help them feel some control over their environment.
• Teach replacement behaviors: Instead of grabbing or pointing, teach them to ask for something. Instead of yelling, teach them to say “I’m frustrated.”
• Have sensory items ready: Have things like fidgets, visuals, or a soft blanket to help them self-regulate available.
• Create a visual schedule: Predictability reduces anxiety.
• Model coping skills: Practice deep breaths, take a walk outside, or try taking a short break when upset.

And when anxiety is the driver, like a fear of elevators, rain, or school, help your child label their emotions, create a safe space, and choose a calming tool to use when they feel overwhelmed.

By creating an environment filled with predictability, empathy, and positive reinforcement, you’re giving your child the tools they need to thrive, without needing to act out to get what they need.