It is IEP season! It is that time of year when the blossoms on the trees are rivaled only by the paperwork on our kitchen tables. As a special needs parent, I am convinced I will never officially be caught up on the phone calls and paperwork.  Perhaps, it is being 20 years into this journey, but I no longer strive to be.    

I do, however, acknowledge that there are some meetings that require my full attention regardless of whether I have it to give.  The IEP meeting falls into that category. Here are a few things I’ve learned that have helped me feel more grounded and prepared for these meetings. Maybe they’ll help you too.

Start with What Matters Most

Before the meeting, I ask myself: What’s the most critical thing my child needs to succeed this year? For us, that usually meant ensuring that Joey’s one-to-one support was a good fit for him.  Without that person, his entire day could fall apart. That became my non-negotiable, my primary advocacy focus. Everything else was built around that.

Other goals followed: creating opportunities for him to be with old classmates, ensuring he still had access to his favorite place (the library!), and building communication skills during unstructured times like recess. These weren’t extras, they were essential pieces of his success story.  But my primary focus had to be securing a staff support that was a good fit.  So, I always started the conversation with that in mind.  

Ask the Right Questions

• What are Joey’s strengths?  
• What are our biggest concerns?  
• How is he doing academically, developmentally, and functionally?
• Does his schedule make sense?
• How will he communicate his needs?
• What about safety, or behaviors that impact learning?

We don’t skip the hard parts: What went well? What didn’t? What was the hardest thing about this year, and what brought us the most joy? I like to protect the joyful moments and get ahead of the hardest ones by remembering what we have learned from the past year.

Looking ahead, we even ask: What will Joey need to know five years from now? It helps us stay future-focused, not just reactive.

Summer Can Be a Bridge, Not Just a Break

IEP goals don’t have to sit on a shelf all summer. We look at what we can work on in a real-world, functional way:

• Playing with peers
• Waiting
• Daily Living Skills
• Eating
• Sleeping

They may sound basic, but they’re foundational. Practicing them now sets him up for a smoother fall. You may have more time and capacity to try something like introducing new foods in the summer.

Get the Data, Even If You’re Not a Data Person

I didn’t think I’d be the parent with a spreadsheet, but here we are.

We started tracking Joey’s language. We logged how many recognizable words he used in a day, which objects he pointed to, what helped him learn a new word faster: PECS, Signing, the actual object.

It gave us insight. It gave us a voice in the IEP meeting. Because when you walk in with information, not just emotion, it changes the conversation.

Little Things Matter More Than You Think

Some of our biggest wins didn’t come from formal goals. They came from small, thoughtful actions:

• Visiting the classroom before school started
• Playing on the school playground during the summer to familiarize Joey to the grounds
• Emailing the teacher to share Joey’s strengths and needs
• Keeping a communication notebook to bridge home and school

These things help our kids feel seen, known, and safe. It gives me information and provides a steady structure of support and communication.

Final Thoughts: You Know Your Child Best

IEP meetings can feel technical, clinical, and even intimidating. But as parents, we bring something no one else can: deep, lived experience that brings us unmatched knowledge and instinct into the conversation. We see our children across every setting, every emotion, every success and setback. That perspective is not just valuable, it’s vital.  You are your child’s CEO. Advocate with confidence and don’t feel pressured to sign anything until you are content that the plan is right for your child.

As you head into your next IEP meeting, I hope you feel empowered. Prepare. Ask questions. Share your insights. And never forget, you are the expert on your child.

We’re not just planning a school year. We’re building a future. One goal, one step, one moment at a time.

Getting ready for your IEP:

What is the MOST critical need for a successful year?

1. Strengths & Concerns
   1. What are your child’s strengths?
   2. What concerns do you have regarding your child’s education and ways to enhance it?
2. Results of recent therapeutic interventions or recent evaluations
   1. What were the results of your child’s most recent evaluation?
3. Your Child’s Needs
   1. What are your child’s academic needs?
   2. What needs to be modified?  
4. What are your child’s developmental needs?
   1. When is inclusion and pull-out services happening? Does this schedule make sense?
5. What are your child’s functional needs?
   1. Does your child need a 1:1? Is that person going to be a good fit? How do they know?
   2. Does your child have a way to communicate their needs?
   3. Does your child have behaviors that interfere with their learning or the learning of others?
6. Successes and Challenges from the past year
   1. What went well this year? What was the best part of the year?
      1. Protect these and facilitate a repeat for the following year if possible and applicable.
   2. What were the challenges and the hardest part of the year?
   3. How do we get ahead of it this year?
7. What will your child need to know 5 years from now that we haven’t addressed?  
8. Are there any safety considerations?

ACRONYMS:

IEP-Individualized Education Plan

AT-Assistive Technology

LRE-Least Restrictive Environment

SLP-Speech Language Pathologist

OT-Occupational Therapist

PT-Physical Therapist

CSE-Committee on Special Education

504-Students with disabilities have access to the general education curriculum and can participate in school activities

IDEA- Individuals with Disabilities Education Act

TA-Teaching Assistance